Awakening
by Opalsmith
Summary: A Cylon learns what love really means


Title: Awakening

Author: Opal Smith

Word Count: 1931 words

Characters: Helo/Sharon

Rating: T

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Spoilers: Mini Series through to Season 1 - Flesh and Bone

Beta: My _very_ patient husband!

Author's note: Originally written for the Kindreds first Angstathon, this is a revised version of that story. (NB I posted under the name of Opal at Kindreds)

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After the attack the Cylons watched as Sharon "Boomer" Valerii was forced to leave her ECO and friend Karl "Helo" Agathon behind on Caprica. They let Helo live although he was the enemy and a Colonial Officer because Boomer was a Cylon sleeper agent.

While Boomer was on Caprica the Cylons were able to download information. They copied across the vital data that made Boomer unique and transferred it into another model 8. This Sharon knew what she was and accepted her mission without question, proud she was to play an important role in the overall Cylon plan.

At first Sharon found it hard to share the memories of a Cylon who thought she was human. Boomer lived in such a confusing world to the ordered one Sharon was used to. However as Sharon got used to this strange persona with a new view of the universe she liked that she was now different from her sisters. She studied the memories as often as she could, fascinated by how Boomer's human colleagues interacted with her and each other.

Sharon learned that Boomer was a Raptor pilot and by default how to find her own way around a Raptor cockpit. She discovered Boomer had taken a lover, Chief Tyrol, although their relationship was disapproved of by their superiors because he held a lower military rank. The fact they flouted authority, the intensity of their lovemaking and the strong bond between them fascinated Sharon. She could also see that Boomer had many friends among the crew of Galactica, and close friends like Starbuck and Helo.

Helo was very protective of Boomer, always looking out for her and checking she was all right. Sharon could tell from the way Helo acted around Boomer that his feelings were more than those of a friend, something Boomer was completely oblivious of.

The Cylons continued to watch over Helo, waiting for the right time for Sharon to become Boomer. When everything was in place they moved in and captured him.

Then Sharon was dressed in a Colonial pilot's uniform and taken through the relentless darkening rain to the place where he was held.

When Sharon first saw Helo he was sitting slumped forward in defeat on a fallen tree trunk, a sack covering his head and his arms and legs shackled together with metal manacles. A model 6 wearing an impossibly white raincoat was standing nearby. She glared at Sharon motioning for her to take up her position behind a line of trees. Sharon did as she was told immediately as she understood why the model 6 was not pleased to see her.

From her vantage point Sharon saw the model 6 pull the sack off Helo's head. Sharon was shocked at how ill and tired he looked; his eyes were sunken and his skin held a deathly gray pallor. The model 6 quickly released him from the manacles while Sharon drew her gun preparing to take a life for the first time in her existence. As she moved forward Sharon watched as her Cylon sister took Helo in tight embrace and kissed him. Boomer's angry voice screamed through her mind, making it surprisingly easy to squeeze the trigger and fire, and mark the dazzling white coat with vivid red.

When Helo stared up at Sharon he seemed hardly able to believe that she was really there, standing in front of him. Still he went with Sharon, leaning heavily on her as she helped him get away.

From the start of their journey Sharon allowed Boomer's consciousness to take over, to decide every action she took. Sharon let herself feel fear and uncertainty and for the first time become reliant on another. Helo behaved in the same way as in the memories, trying to make the impossible grimness of living on the run and sleeping rough as bearable for her as possible. He was kind and considerate and she found it easy to understand why Boomer valued his friendship. Sharon was pleased because Helo seemed to accept she was Boomer without question. And all the while she was leading him to the first safe house where they would find food, water, anti-radiation meds and the next stage of the plan.

It was Helo who identified the Colonial signal that caused the radio to crackle with the promise of other life somewhere out there. Sharon played along with his excitement although she knew precisely what it meant. It seemed so natural to fall into his inviting arms and be held close. And the contact with a real living being sparked something in her soul. There was a definite physical attraction between them that went unacknowledged in the awkward silence that followed. Although Sharon made sure it was her and not Boomer who met Helo's hopeful gaze.

That night they slept in the radiation shelter. It was wonderful to feel clean and be out of the rain, to eat the survival rations and drink the sweet uncontaminated water and to rest.

Sharon had her first dream in that place…_Helo was leading her by the hand across an open valley of long grasses that tugged and swirled round her legs as she tried to walk. The marshy uneven ground underfoot also made her stumble and lose her footing so it was a struggle to keep pace with him. Helo tried to keep hold of her hand but it was wet and slippery although it was a dry and sunny day. When her hand finally slipped from his grasp her fight against the elements was over and she was left stranded in that field of green as he strode away from her. She tried to call out but only she heard her voice echo back to her. Helo was intent on the figure just on the horizon standing next to a Colonial Raptor who looked just like her..._

Sharon woke with a start to find Helo working on the radio that had been attached to the disaster beacon. Seeing him still there gave Sharon hope and she attempted to divert what she knew was coming. She tentatively suggested that they could stay there, the last two people on Caprica and set up home together. For a brief moment Sharon thought he might agree but his desire that they leave this world was too strong.

The time had come to take Sharon away from Helo. The Cylons needed to know if he was prepared to abandon her...

Sharon could only wait and hope the man who watched over Boomer would now save them both. She stood alongside her minders, her mind fixed on mentally pulling him to her as Helo made his choice. When he turned and walked away Sharon felt as though she'd been kicked in the guts. She only just managed to retain enough control not to let it show. Helo was a dead man until he stopped as though finally hearing her silent pleas and came back towards his love.

And when Helo rescued her from her supposed captors, gently holding her badly bruised and bloody face in his hands, stroking her hair and trying to kiss her pain and hurt away she was captivated by how right it felt. Her heart soared at the thought that he must love her to have risked his life to find her. Then the human voice in her head reminded her that with every breath she was betraying him. Sharon looked up at Helo as he helped her to first stand and then walk and wondered how he would feel if he knew all this was just a test of his commitment to her. And for the first time she admitted to herself that he did not deserve this and started to hate what she was a part of.

They continued their search for a way off Caprica, trekking cross country, stopping only to eat and rest when they were too tired to continue. The only thing making their desperate plight bearable was facing it together. And one evening when there was a break in the rain they found a place to sleep, a bank of moss protected by a line of trees. The bond between them was stronger now and Sharon knew her minders were expecting to hear soon that their relationship had moved on to the next stage. Sharon was dreading having to trap him into sleeping with her, but Helo made it easy by making the first move. Sharon lay where he'd put her after he insisted she should be the first to sleep, then he opened up and told her of his feelings for her. Her silence made Helo think he had gone too far, that he had presumed too much. But the conflict going through her head was not anything Helo could have imagined. For Sharon was facing the agony of knowing if she went through with this, it was Boomer he would be making love to, not her. She felt the first drops of rain fall and realised she really did not have a choice. Helo would be killed if she did not do this so Sharon pulled him towards her and sealed their fate with a kiss.

When the first rays of the morning sun woke her for a glorious moment she felt alive, really alive. The sun was shinning on this desolate world but the warmth she felt came from the man sleeping beside her. The man who trusted her because he thought he knew her. And Sharon felt all she wanted was to be worthy of his care and concern. So was this love she was feeling? Was it this overwhelming need to protect him from harm? And was it love that made her long to stop time so that they could just stay there and not have to face the future that was mapped out for them.

Sharon had an arrangement to meet her minders and she was already late. Quietly so as not to wake Helo she raised her head from his shoulder. He was deeply asleep and looked so peaceful, unaware she was his protector. She gazed down at him unable to resist touching the exposed skin at the base of his throat. The delicate pulse that flickered under her touch belied the strength of his will to live. Sharon wondered at the intensity of her feelings for him as she gently stroked the side of his cheek and then ran her thumb against the new growth of bristles on his chin.

Then Sharon reluctantly pulled her hand away and turned to sit up, checking out the valley below them for any sign of activity. She knew he would be safe as long as she continued to play her part but the thought of leaving him there pained her. Sharon got slowly to her feet still looking around although now she was more concerned with committing every detail of this small patch of Caprica to her memory.

Sharon turned away and started to retrace the path up the hillside through the trees to the abandoned children's play park.

As Sharon walked she decided it no longer mattered what she was because her feelings for Helo had changed everything. Sharon could no longer believe that the destruction of the twelve colonies was deserved nor agree with the actions of her kind. She realised that meant there was no longer a place for her among her Cylon brothers and sisters.

And then Sharon resolved that regardless of the cost to her, she would find a way for Helo to escape Caprica.


End file.
